When I take a few precious moments to look back (instead of being the "always looking forward" person) and reflect on what has been most meaningful in my life to date, it is inevitably about my most important social relationships - those with friends and personal partners. The jobs I've had, the work I've done the places I've traveled all have had impact and influence in creating the Me that I Am, and the Life I am Living.
But, what stands out the most are those people with whom I have formed deep and sustaining friendships. You know, the kind where you always want to ask, "Is there more?" because one has so much interest, curiosity, and concern about the other, and everything matters, down to the smallest detail and story. I always feel better, stronger, and even more connected within myself when I am with or coming away from intimate times of sharing the stories of our lives with friends, new and older, close-by and light years away. There is tenderness, joy, openness, and inspiration when I experience a deepening and opening with someone I care about and love, and those feelings are returned to me in a never-ending feedback loop.
Intimacy is the gift that loving friends offer each other. It enables us to see into ourselves and to connect with another in ways far richer than normal daily contact and interaction. We are seen, we feel seen, and we see ourselves as we are without obstruction, obfuscations existence, denial, or any other emotions that draw down doors and windows around us. We are received because we are authentic and genuine. We don't fear raw honesty and vulnerability and expressing our human fragility. And, in those moments of such intimacy, the same comes back to us. Real caring is the art of real sharing. It is as it was spoken by the fox to the Little Prince in Antoine de St. Exupery's classic story:
It is only with the heart
that one can see rightly;
what is essential
is invisible to the eye...
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